What If
by nikkicarter
Summary: A two-character fic in which some major issues between Sam and Jack are adressed. Marked as Hurt/Comfort, but not really that sad, and the end is really just fluff...Takes place at Jack's house, T for kind of suggustive theme at end.


_A/N: I'm back! (I know. I was gone for a LONG LONG time. I wrote some stuff in the hospital, but a lot didn't really make any sense…at all…..but I need to write like I need to breathe, so here is the first of a few…'comeback' stories. FAIR WARNING: The first part is no dialogue, but we get a lot of insight into Jack's thoughts, and the ending is mostly….ok, ALL…..fluffy stuff. If that gives you cavities, well, you probably shouldn't read ANY of my stuff then 'cause I hate sad endings. Except for the ending, though, there is A LOT of shippy minorangst in here in which some real issues are addressed. Not that I can write REAL sad stuff, but…..y'know….there's sighing. A lot of sighing. I'm gonna shut up now, and let you just read the story._

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ *looks around* I had a stack of notecards around here somewhere with some snappy comebacks….*picks up random stuff* Now where did they go? Suffice to say, I don't own it._

The "We-Saved-The-World-Again" party, held at Jack's insistence, was long over, leaving him alone to pick up the assorted beer bottles and paper plates and think and wish that these happy endings could always work out. He wondered vaguely who Sam had gotten a ride from; he hadn't seen her car or bike out front. Maybe Daniel. He hoped she'd gotten a ride, she'd seemed so distracted today.

Well….not _obviously _distracted, at least….not to the others…. but he knew her better. Oh, she'd offered the required smiles and funny stories, even ribbed Daniel about the newest alien to crush on him, but Jack saw her mind was elsewhere. And not a happy elsewhere. He sighed, tossing the last plate in the garbage. Maybe he'd sit on his roof for awhile, watch the stars and clear his own mind.

Jack walked to his ladder, barely paying attention to his feet. His mind was occupied (still) with his brilliant, fascinating, **HOT **2iC. The mission had gone very well, he supposed, and it was always nice playing Sam's husband…..could that be what had her distracted? Jack almost grinned. Nah, she'd been fine, laughing along with Daniel when he noted they really seemed like an old married couple already….minus the sex. He looked up the stars and sighed.

Jack glanced down at his lawn chair. He nearly fell over. Well. Maybe his thoughts had summoned her, or Thor was playing a little joke, because that very much asleep person curled up on his stargazing chair definitely resembled Samantha Carter. Jack couldn't help but stare. The 5'8" blonde had always attracted him, but she seemed to steadily have become more captivating recently. He caught himself staring at her whenever she looked away, watching her in briefings or when she spouted science babble. He loved the way her eyes lit up when she was discussing her latest theory. He loved….her.

Jack shook his head quickly. No. No-no-no-no-no. She was his second in command! He WAS NOT in love with his second! He sighed. Maybe if he said it enough he'd convince himself.

The second in question yawned and shifted in her sleep. Jack groaned. He'd have to wake her up or she'd be very very stiff in the morning. Choosing to let her sleep awhile longer, he went back down the ladder to get another chair.

When he got back, she was sitting on the roof's edge, hugging her knees and staring at her feet like they held the secrets to the universe. Sam's head didn't move when he set the chair down.

"Dollar for your thoughts, Colonel? 'Cause they're worth so much more than a penny?"

He didn't get so much as a smile when she looked up at him. The expression in her eyes made Jack's heart lurch. Fear, sadness, confusion, desperation and heartbreak fought a war in her mind, and it showed.

"You 'K, Sam?"

He went to sit next to her, worried now.

She closed her eyes and turned away from him.

She sighed.

"Did I…..Did I make the right choice….Jack?"

"What?"

"To join the military. Did I make the right choice?"

He said nothing, not sure what she was really asking.

"In all of the alternate universes, and timelines and dimensions we've seen, I never chose the military."

She paused.

"Sam, in all of those timelines, the Goa'uld won. Without you we'd all be dead by now, many times over."

"But show me one who wasn't happy Jack! Show me one who didn't love their job, their lives, their….familes. All of those me's are happily married, or at least engaged. And look at this me!"

She turned to him, anguished.

"Sure, I love my job, and this team is my family, but every time we go through that gate there's a chance we might not come back. I don't want-" She broke off in what sounded suspiciously like a sob.

"I don't want to die without-" She stopped again, this time a tear rolled down her face. She struggled to keep her composure.

"C'mere," Jack said, wrapping his arms around her. The last of Sam's mental walls came tumbling down, and she buried her face in his chest and hugged him like a drowning person.

Jack knew what she meant, what she was dancing around actually saying. In all of those alternate timelines, universes and dimensions, if she was married or engaged, it was to him. In this timeline, they had both considered this, but he hardly knew what to say.

"Carter," he started, and then stopped.

"Sam," he tried again, "I think, no, I know you made the right decision. We need you, and you have a family, a life, and a job in the SGC. Daniel's like your brother, right?"

He felt her nod.

"And Teal'c's like, what, your ancient stoic ninja alien uncle?"

He thought he heard a gasp of a laugh.

"Hammond's like your other dad, or maybe your grandpa or something."

He rested his chin on her head.

"And," he stopped again, the decided '_what the hell_'.

"Samantha Carter, you have me, and while we may not be married or engaged," '_Yet', _he thought, "You're not getting rid of me. I will always be here. Always."

Jack punctuated the last word will a hug and a kiss on the top of her head.

Sam paused a minute, then decided '_what the hell_'.

She leaned up and kissed him.

"Thank you," she whispered against his mouth.

Jack's breath caught.

"I'm a safe bet Sam. I always will be."

Recognition flashed in her eyes as she remembered the words of the Hallucination Jack on the Prometheus.

"I always liked those," she whispered, kissing him again. Now that the barrier had been broken it was hard to stop.

Jack grinned at her, leading her downstairs, tears forgotten.

Somehow, they would get their happy ending.

_Somehow._


End file.
